Alert level 4, aka Lockdown, started August 18th
At 1159pm tonight, the part of New Zealand that is south of the Auckland region will shift to Alert Level 3
Level 3 is still lockdown
but with takeaways & online shopping

when i asked my friend what alert level 3 meant
he said 'you & your Bubble can go to the beach & go surfing'

my Bubble & i are planning a picnic tomorrow
we're going to the beach
the ocean temperature is currently 13.9°C
we won't be going surfing

So how was alert level 4 this time round ?
it was different
in a good way
it was calmer, less fearful 
more people moving around but still quiet enough to be pleasant

people seem ok about wearing masks in the supermarket

our oldies went in to lockdown mode
grocery shopping online for those with a computer 
grocery deliveries by whanau for those without 
i only realised last night that dad wasn't wearing his glasses yesterday
must remember to ask him about that . . .

Hugh had his birthday 
we made a lemon cake 
he got presents in the post
i made him a paper tiger &
we had our 1st covid 19 vaccination

tomorrow will officially be the 1st day of Spring

According to the guidelines I could have been offered the Covid 19 vaccine by now
because I'm Māori & over the age of 55 

I've asked several times  
My enquiries have been brushed off, glossed over &/or ignored

They have offered me

• the flu vaccine
• a shingles vaccine
• cardiac risk assessment &
• a mammogram 

I just want the Covid vaccine . . . please

when i first wrote this down today
i thought
this is actually hilarious 
in an annoying 'would you like fries with that' kind of way

Our District Health Board set the lowest vaccination rate target in the country - embarrassingly low targets actually
They didn't want to 'over promise'
By the end of June they had exceeded their target by 1% - which meant they had vaccinated 8% of our region
Our regional population is 124 600 (June 2020 Wikipedia) 
The next lowest target set, by any other DHBs, was 14%

as we get closer & closer to ‘normal’ i feel less expansive, less free … almost like I’m being suffocated or stifled or constrained 

i want to stand on a mountain & scream into the wind with joy
however i know that if i were to stand on that mountain i would scream
& my scream would turn to tears
& i would fall to my knees & be overcome by grief 

perhaps because i’m so uncomfortable in their ‘normal’
perhaps because i so desperately crave change …

i need to find the change in me 
i need to find the joy in me 
i need to find the ease in me 
i need to find the expansiveness in me
i need to find the breath in me 

i need to breathe