Death I’m tired 

You’ve been camped at our door for so long now
Could it not be someone else’s turn … please

It’s not that we don’t understand you
although sometimes you make no sense
It’s not necessarily that we are afraid of you
nor that we don’t expect you to be there

But this time, just like the last time, we weren’t expecting you.
​​How do you decide ?

I know you are infinitely patient … could you wait just a little longer for the next time ... please 

​Death we’re all just so tired right now

For months now I’ve been thinking about IG & about why, all of sudden, I really didn’t feel I wanted to use the platform anymore. 

I actually want to use IG in the way it was intended - ya know - instantly ! 
I want to share stuff I’m doing & things I’m excited about, in this moment, as in, now. 
Yet for some reason that became harder & harder to do. 

Was it because I wasn’t doing anything interesting? Maybe 
Was it because I actually didn’t want to share ? Not really 
Was it because I felt like too many people in my feed had started to use it as Latergram & actually weren’t present ? Yep, totally. 
Did that annoy the fuck outta me ? Yes it did & it still does. 

So after months of thinking about it & also thinking about my blog & the role it has, I think I’ve come up with a palatable way for me to get back to using them both. 

I was hoping that writing content for my blog would lead me to sharing about that on IG & so kick off my active participation in both but the reality is that I simply can’t make that work. 
My blog posts tend to be about what I’ve BEEN doing because I want it to be a journal of sorts. 
My IG posts tend to be about what I AM doing because I want it to be a snap shot of THIS instant & mostly by adding comments I have a record of how I felt about it at that moment. 

So there ya go. 

Do I over think things ? Yes, I believe I do.
Do I know I’m over thinking things ? Oh yes ! & believe me sometimes it is excruciatingly painful. 
Does any of it matter ? Yes, I believe it matters. 

Why ? Because I simply can not do things for which I see no reason. 
I believe that part of the reason the world has become such a shit fight (technical term) is because humans don’t think about things enough. 

Humans are in such a rush. They’re so proud of being sooooo busy & it’s bollocks !
​Constantly striving, chasing egocentric often money centred goals & it drives me crazy. 

I am fortunate to be surrounded, in the most part, by thinkers. 
Some of them are younger than me; the important generation who are taking considered action.
They are concerned & articulate. 
They are taking their time with decision making because they don’t want to waste any more time working in dysfunctional systems.
Unfortunately some of these are systems my generation set up - presumably with good intention, however, now 2 decades later, the systems, structures & people in them are failing. 

During my time as a health care professional I tried - I really, really tried.  
I failed to change the system & in all honesty, that makes me very sad.
I came me to realise changing systems is not within my capability. 

My role now is to support the next generation. Simply by being here & providing sanctuary, safety, support & love.
Love.
Unconditional, non judgemental, love.

While I’m here I will potter around with my botanicals; thinking, crafting & making art - peacefully, lovingly & sustainably.
& that’s what I'll share. 

Sal x

there was a time i studied organic chemistry - albeit only for 1 week
i have written another poem 
& i have completed a quilt 

it is likely there will be more poetry
there may be more quilts
& i doubt i will ever study organic chemistry again