The other day I heard someone say it was too late to be bothered changing or starting something new
‘I’m 40 years old’, she said
You could hear the resignation in her voice - her certainty.  

I remember Dad saying the same thing when he was around 40 years old … and that was over 40 years ago. 

Why do we want to give ourselves a ‘best before’ date ?
A ‘use-by’ date which has nothing what so ever to do with our life time nor our mortality. 

I too have been wondering about what’s next. 
Is there even a ‘next’ ?
Is this it ? 
Is it too late to start again - again. 
🤷🏻‍♀️ 

Easy to say ‘No, of course not’                
Harder to know where to begin
              

An interesting thing
​A day to celebrate mothers

I often wonder am I a mother worth celebrating ?
I have ended up with the most wonderful daughter but really did I actually have anything much to do with that ?
was she destined to always be a lovely person ?
I think she was. 
I have decided this mother's day to celebrate my daughter 
Lets face it, as a mother I can do whatever I want - its my day hahahahaha

My lovely friend sent me a link to this nell-anne-quilt-project 
The project has come about because Nell, an Australian artist who was going to come to do a residency at McCahon House is now unable to due to Covid19.  
Her plan was to run a series of workshops while she was here & instead this quilt project has become an online event. At the moment there is no particular end date so grab a needle, some thread & a scrap of fabric, choose a name & start stitching. 

I decided to embroider my daughter’s name as my contribution to the #nellannequilt 
Kate was named after my Nanna who was Katherine 
Nanna was called Kitty by her contemporaries so I Imagine Kitty was the common diminutive at that time.
​
Kate is Kathryn because I prefer that spelling & it’s just occurred to me that I don’t know the origin of the spelling I prefer nor even the origin of Nanna’s spelling of Katherine
It was, & will always be, about connections 

Kate never knew Kitty tho i suspect they would have enjoyed each other’s company.  
Kitty was a bit cold & hard around the edges - a product of the times she lived in perhaps 
Kate, on the other hand, is warm & gentle around the edges

I’m also pretty sure I didn’t really know my Nanna; that’s not how it works with your grandparents is it ? 
It’s about feelings
It’s about memories
It’s about love
oh & smells . . . it’s definitely about smells 

Then at some stage it occurs to you that it has become about the future

Kate is the future 
Kitty is the past
I am simply the one in the middle. 
The one who carries the past through the present & hands it on to the future

This was fun to do . . . once I'd chosen Kate's name.
I simply wrote her name in pencil & then wrote it again with my biggest fattest sharpie.
​I used a light box to trace the outline of the letters so that I got empty block letters which I then transferred on to a piece of fabric, chose the thread I liked & embroidered it over a couple of days.
And I'm so glad I did.

hi 
how's it going ?

i’m staying close to home which for me is no different from usual 
i'm choosing not to think too much
i read updates once a day & trust that Hugh will tell me anything he thinks it's important i know 

i trust our prime minister & her staff to sort out the things they are responsible for

i'm learning new things - new embroidery things - in Spanish actually
fortunately there are subtitles some of which are hilarious, some unfathomable
i trust i will figure it out

i trust members of my whanau will let me know when, & if, they need me
i'm having a great time catching up with dad; in person with his groceries every 10 days & by phone every few days. we chat about life, lack of exercise & social contact & food - in particular the annoying lack of hogget & mutton available to buy - we're secretly hoping that suddenly it will be available again in the domestic market because the international market are not in a position to give a damn about importing sheep meat from NZ

i do not trust the staff at my closest countdown supermarket with my health & wellbeing 
i have decided that i will no longer shop there, instead, i will go to our local four square (& pharmacy should i need to)

i don’t like to think about it too much but i actually don’t trust the medical staff in our region & especially at our local hospital; most are poorly qualified to triage & most won’t cope in an emergency 
if, however, we end up needing them in an emergency i will have no choice but to trust that they will be able to figure it out

i trust that AirNZ will still exist after this & will remember they owe me credit for a couple of airfares

i trust that the greater majority of people will do exactly what is asked of them & stay at home

i hope that everyone has learnt to wash their hands properly 
i hope that everyone has learnt how important it is to not be out & about if they are unwell

​i hope that you all have a lovely Easter weekend
you know the drill
stay home
save lives
​& 
please be kind 
tino nui te mihi aroha ki a koutou katoa

Sal x
​ps smiling doesn't spread the virus 

pps links to the domestika classes I'm enjoying
https://www.domestika.org/en/courses/302-experimental-embroidery-techniques-on-paper
https://www.domestika.org/en/courses/548-embroidery-technique-with-the-stem-stitch
https://www.domestika.org/en/courses/711-introduction-to-raised-embroidery
& the cute rabbit is from ​https://www.mibo.co.uk