I've received what i assume to be a spam/scam email insisting i follow a link to some place or other 
I'm writing this post today because it told me I would lose access to all my Weebly data if i didn't follow their link
​the email said 'you haven't used your Weebly account in 'quite a while'
hell i know I've been slack about writing but it hasn't been that long 

these things occurred to me

1. i have no data that i give a damn about losing 
2. this morning it's as cold as winter with squalls of evil, cold, needle sharp rain  
3. i have to leave home 
4. i am very grumpy 

so off you go ridiculous email 
​go live in the junk folder til i remember to clean you out
& if I'm wrong 
in 5 days this account will no longer exist
i'll have one less thing in my life that i attend to regularly
& i can start again if i wish . . . . or not

​maybe i'll see you again xx

it's almost 9pm on NYE

​scallops are draining on the bench
i am drained

so much for the energy of the full moon
& the excitement of the new year

i have no platitudes
just a sigh of relief

we made it

​I'm struggling to write anything of length so I've been playing with photos & short, pithy stabs . . . 

​​​I’m not much in to mantra
& as for you 
bossy little teabag 
you can fuck right off

​​​this is a rabbit hole 
there is no Wonderland 
and my name is not Alice 

Weight: 
I feel it on my shoulders
pinching my neck
nagging headache 


Wait:
for the wheels to fall off
imagining scenarios 
inevitable 


This wait(weight) is heavy
​too heavy
if it’s not mine to carry
then whose


Weighting 
noun

1. allowance or adjustment made in order to take account of special circumstances or compensate for a distorting factor."each score is then multiplied by the appropriate weighting, giving a weighted score"
2. emphasis or priority."they will give due weighting to quality as well as price"