The other day I heard someone say it was too late to be bothered changing or starting something new
‘I’m 40 years old’, she said
You could hear the resignation in her voice - her certainty.  

I remember Dad saying the same thing when he was around 40 years old … and that was over 40 years ago. 

Why do we want to give ourselves a ‘best before’ date ?
A ‘use-by’ date which has nothing what so ever to do with our life time nor our mortality. 

I too have been wondering about what’s next. 
Is there even a ‘next’ ?
Is this it ? 
Is it too late to start again - again. 
🤷🏻‍♀️ 

Easy to say ‘No, of course not’                
Harder to know where to begin
              

It's 12 months since I finished Pare Kawakawa & as Puanga/Matariki draws near it seems appropriate to reflect & share.
I've never been able to write about this work here & yet I have shared it elsewhere.
It hung in our LTTL exhibition last year & it's in a book ! 
I dunno.
Sometimes these things are just too close. 

Pare Kawakawa is in the studio with me.
It keeps me company.
It sits adjacent to the high south facing window & through the window I can see the sky.
A sky just like any other day. 

An interesting thing
​A day to celebrate mothers

I often wonder am I a mother worth celebrating ?
I have ended up with the most wonderful daughter but really did I actually have anything much to do with that ?
was she destined to always be a lovely person ?
I think she was. 
I have decided this mother's day to celebrate my daughter 
Lets face it, as a mother I can do whatever I want - its my day hahahahaha

My lovely friend sent me a link to this nell-anne-quilt-project 
The project has come about because Nell, an Australian artist who was going to come to do a residency at McCahon House is now unable to due to Covid19.  
Her plan was to run a series of workshops while she was here & instead this quilt project has become an online event. At the moment there is no particular end date so grab a needle, some thread & a scrap of fabric, choose a name & start stitching. 

I decided to embroider my daughter’s name as my contribution to the #nellannequilt 
Kate was named after my Nanna who was Katherine 
Nanna was called Kitty by her contemporaries so I Imagine Kitty was the common diminutive at that time.
​
Kate is Kathryn because I prefer that spelling & it’s just occurred to me that I don’t know the origin of the spelling I prefer nor even the origin of Nanna’s spelling of Katherine
It was, & will always be, about connections 

Kate never knew Kitty tho i suspect they would have enjoyed each other’s company.  
Kitty was a bit cold & hard around the edges - a product of the times she lived in perhaps 
Kate, on the other hand, is warm & gentle around the edges

I’m also pretty sure I didn’t really know my Nanna; that’s not how it works with your grandparents is it ? 
It’s about feelings
It’s about memories
It’s about love
oh & smells . . . it’s definitely about smells 

Then at some stage it occurs to you that it has become about the future

Kate is the future 
Kitty is the past
I am simply the one in the middle. 
The one who carries the past through the present & hands it on to the future

This was fun to do . . . once I'd chosen Kate's name.
I simply wrote her name in pencil & then wrote it again with my biggest fattest sharpie.
​I used a light box to trace the outline of the letters so that I got empty block letters which I then transferred on to a piece of fabric, chose the thread I liked & embroidered it over a couple of days.
And I'm so glad I did.