it's almost 9pm on NYE

​scallops are draining on the bench
i am drained

so much for the energy of the full moon
& the excitement of the new year

i have no platitudes
just a sigh of relief

we made it

​I'm struggling to write anything of length so I've been playing with photos & short, pithy stabs . . . 

​​​I’m not much in to mantra
& as for you 
bossy little teabag 
you can fuck right off

​​​this is a rabbit hole 
there is no Wonderland 
and my name is not Alice 

Weight: 
I feel it on my shoulders
pinching my neck
nagging headache 


Wait:
for the wheels to fall off
imagining scenarios 
inevitable 


This wait(weight) is heavy
​too heavy
if it’s not mine to carry
then whose


Weighting 
noun

1. allowance or adjustment made in order to take account of special circumstances or compensate for a distorting factor."each score is then multiplied by the appropriate weighting, giving a weighted score"
2. emphasis or priority."they will give due weighting to quality as well as price"

creating with materials that you grow or gather means you slow down
you work with the seasons
you wait, you watch & you listen

the more you wait the more patient you become
the more you watch the more you see
and the more you listen the more your world will tell you

it is profound

and on those days when the world seems so fucked up i want to scream
i walk in amongst our trees & know that our little world is doing ok
which means i’m ok too