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An Inventory of Spring*

11/10/2020

 
puawānanga petal
spores on puhinui (maiden hair fern)
porokaiwhiri flowers (pigkeonwood)
babies on mouku (hen & chickens fern)
An Inventory of Spring 
  1. warmer days
  2. warmer nights
  3. daylight saving begins - my body & mind ambivalent 
  4. puawānanga flowers - we know this only because we find their petals on the ground
  5. kōwhai flowers - tūī get possessive 
  6. wharariki flowers - tūī seem less concerned this year; maybe there is finally enough to go around
  7. pukatea, rewarewa, porokaiwhiri & tī flower &, with a jolt, I realise why my friend wears that particular perfume
  8. kōhūhū flowers & the night air is scented with their delicious, sweet, heady perfume
  9. sunsets
  10. mackerel skies
  11. pīpīwharauroa calls - we breathe a huge sigh of relief to know they've made it home
  12. sun seems to shine more brightly
  13. it’s windy & cold
  14. spring snow falls on the mountain
  15. bare feet on the grass
  16. preparing the vege garden, guarding the seedlings
  17. grass growing again
  18. delight of ferns & fungi
  19. pears & apples start to flower - salivating in anticipation 
  20. avocado flower - maybe next year we’ll have a harvest 
  21. soft, new leaves of deciduous trees 
  22. walking to the letterbox, the sound of bees a constant hum in the canopy 
  23. the sound of kererū gently cooing - we stare & stare in to the tree tops to see if we can spot a ‘ridiculously flimsy nest’ & it occurs to me that these reference books we read are a little unkind in their wording 
  24. some days wearing jumpers, other days wearing shorts  
  25. longing for summer, warm oceans & ripe tomatoes


* the inspiration for writing this list has come from An Inventory by Jenn Lee, which was our wild writing prompt earlier this week 

Covid 19, Alert Level 1

8/6/2020

 
as we get closer & closer to ‘normal’ i feel less expansive, less free … almost like I’m being suffocated or stifled or constrained 

i want to stand on a mountain & scream into the wind with joy
however i know that if i were to stand on that mountain i would scream
& my scream would turn to tears
& i would fall to my knees & be overcome by grief 

perhaps because i’m so uncomfortable in their ‘normal’
perhaps because i so desperately crave change …

i need to find the change in me 
i need to find the joy in me 
i need to find the ease in me 
i need to find the expansiveness in me
i need to find the breath in me 

i need to breathe

Covid 19 Level 3

29/4/2020

 
Level 3 is just like level 4 except
Without the angst
By now we’re so settled in to our routine it feels as if this could be the way it’s always been done & could be always in the future 

Initially the angst was real. 
That dread of uncertainty which accompanied the ‘what if…’ 
Fortunately the ‘what if’ has changed & now it’s  become ‘… well we’ll work that out when & if we come to it’. and that’s a lovely thought.

It’s been nice having a leader & a framework to work under with instructions disguised as guidelines; as if there was/is a choice when in fact there is only really one sensible thing to do. 

I think the angst dissipated after the second visit to the supermarket to get groceries for Dad & the subsequent journey to deliver them to him. We shared a bit of time & space & thoughts & decided this could work out ok for both of us. 

Initially I could do very little except the mundane/routine. It felt very much like that space after loss so I’d say it’s been a grieving process. 
I sheltered in the sanctuary of learning something new but not totally unfamiliar. That came with the discovery of an online learning platform called Domestika. 
I literally stitched my way back to feeling normal. 

Now I feel like I’m moving forward again. 
Stitching & sewing. 
Making things.
Some useful, others just to see what happens.
It’s nice. 

And strangely our weather has paralleled all this. We had grey rain for about a week & that’s now given way to cold mornings & nights but beautiful sunny, warm, still days. 
It’s lovely. 
It’s lovely to lie in the sun for a few minutes, let it warm my skin & with that warmth comes the feeling of ease. 

I can do what I want; be it a little or a lot 
The sun will go down each night & a new day will happen not so many hours later 
The mountain still stands, as do our trees
The birds still sing & hunt for insects
We can just walk along beside this & feel that we’re absolutely part of it - because we are. 

And the wind can howl, the rain can lash 
The storms come & go, giving way to sunny days 
We can know that there is a power greater than us & feel that we are absolutely part of it - because we are
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    About
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    Hi, I'm Sally
    I'm a fibre artist who loves botanicals - especially NZ native plants
    you can find me on 
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